About animal crackers: Um, they don't taste like animals - at least none that I've ever eaten. I was (and still am) really disappointed about that.
And here's a quote that'll make your day about candy corn from Lewis Black:
"But nothing proves just how dumb we are collectively, as a people. Nothing proves it more than Candy Corn. Candy Corn... using the word candy to describe it is wrong. Using the word corn is wrong. It does not taste like candy nor corn. It tastes like something that was made out of oil. You take all of the bags of candy corn and actually, if you melted them down, you could run a car. It is one of the s****iest tastes I've ever had in my mouth. All of the candy corn that was ever made, was made in 1914. They never had to make it again. We never eat enough of it. We only eat 2 or 3 or 4 pieces a piece. And so, literally after Halloween, the Candy Corn companies send out their minions... a word I've never really had the opportunity to use... and they go from garbage can to garbage can and collect the corn, and throw it back in the bags, and it appears next year. I will never forget the first time my mother gave me candy corn. She said, 'Lewis, this is corn, and it tastes like candy.' 'Oh Boy! This tastes like s***! My mother is f*****g with me.' So I grabbed another, and it tasted like s***, too. And every year since then Halloween returns, and I, like an Alzheimer's patient, find myself in a room, and there's a table and on that table there's a bowl filled with candy corn for no apparent reason. And I look at it, and even though I've seen it over and over and over again, it is as if I'm seeing it for the first time. 'Candy corn,' I think. 'Corn, that tastes like candy. God I can't wait.' SONOFABITCH! And then I grab another, and I eat just the yellow part, believing somehow that's the corn part. And then I take two more pieces, and I shove them on my front teeth like this... ARRAWRRAWRR... and I am Dracula. That is why when this Halloween will come, and those of you who are parents, and know... absolutely know that this candy tastes like s***, will give it to your children. and so it goes, from generation to generation to generation... we the people, pass on a legacy of s***. And then you wonder why we can't elect a good leader."
