The Mental Clinic (excellent capsule for people who dare read it)

Dear Captain... in regards to the fire, I've seen you burning on more than a few occasions yourself. Many times I had watched you burning, waiting for your greatness to manifest and snuff out the flames and restore you to your former glory. Sadly, too many times have I been disappointed. Many times I've heard the phrase "Thank you, Ninja!" while you were mere seconds from death. Saved by the lowly medigun of NinjaFluff...

I have seen your stone facade crack and break... you sir, are a charlatan! Leading these poor innocents to their demise with your promises of "Ubers" and "Victory" and "Take the point!" But alas... so many broken bodies, so many dashed hopes... all for your pleasure!

*sigh*

Voltaire, my brother! Wake up from this insanity! Don't you see? He's pulled the wool over your eyes! Nothing but smoke and mirrors, friend, nothing more than tricks of the light!

CaliGirl, you too?? Another one needs help!
 
Dear Ninja,

You sir would know nothing of greatness even if it struck you in the forehead. I will not talk about your forehead any longer as there is permanent sniper's laser aim dot on it. I do not see the point of beating a man who's already down.

Sir, you shall have to do better than that, accusations and propaganda can only go so far you know. Since I am well educated, I do thank a lot of players in-game even if they cant match my skills, I still acknowledge their feeble effort by a “thank you” or “well done”, it makes them all proud to know that I said that to them.

Actually it does sometimes happens that I do get shot once or twice in a game since I am not a god, and would never even start pretending that I was.

I will still heal you and not hold any grudge on you even though your judgement is pretty much clouded and you have no proof to back up your claims. Overall, A pretty weak attempt at undermining my reputation.

I feel like taking you under my wing like a father would to his son. Maybe after you would stop dancing the fire mambo every minute you come out of your hiding place. Voltaire and Cali are not blinded by my greatness, they just know I am just their humble servant and will go to the end with them every time.

So I've heard from other clan members that your medi-gun was in fact a potato gun, but I'm not the one to believe that for a minute!! Before I jump to conclusions I will go and dig out some valid proof. In the mean time, the potatoes are half price at Costco, would you like me to get you a bag?

Sincerely yours,
Captain Mental
 
LOL, epic forum battle!

Captain, oh, Captain... attacks such as that are quite unbecoming! The great man you profess to be should be far above this!

The vileness of your words cannot be hidden any longer. One only has to listen for a moment, TRULY listen, and then one shall see. Your constant calls to Dominate Kolak! What has he done to you? And offering material reward for doing so? How can you say you are a man of integrity, when you resort to such bribery? Never mind the fact that no one has yet to receive the material possessions with which you tempt them with for doing your dirty work. You, sir, are the accused... the burden of proof lies with you! My fellow teammates will see through your illusions. You are finished, sir!

Captain Mental's reign is at an end!
 
Ninja,

Sincerely you must realise how childish you sound. I still feel like i should tutor you to maturity, you could learn alot from me actually. Since i'm a generous man, you shall become my apprentice and i shall call you fluffy.

To start with, you wear a mask. I cannot mentor a masked man you will have to take it off it is clouding your judgement.

Second, know that you need to inhale oxygen once in a while. It helps with the brain function and you can therefore accomplish new tasks like walking and chewing gum at the same time.

Join me! Denial is not for you my friend, let me show you the right way, the mental way!
 
Dear Captain,

I shall be no one's apprentice, let alone one called "Fluffy". No, I shall lead the rebellion to victory against the tyranny that is your iron-fisted rule. I wear the mask to protect those I love from your stormtroopers and their heavy-handed approach. On your orders, they stop at nothing. I have no time to chew gum! You must be stopped, Captain!

My friends, brothers, sisters! Heed my words! This man isn't the man he wants you to believe! I ask you, honestly... What kind of healer *hurts* people? I have personally seen him bonesaw members of the hapless opposition! He has surely abandoned his oath of "First, do no harm"! If he is so quick to abandon the core belief of his chosen profession, how long before he casts you all aside?

Friends, you are but PAWNS in his twisted little game! Rise up! Be Dominated no longer! I call for REVENGE! He can only oppress you if you let him!
 
You 2 are too funny. You know Ninja we all got so excited when we saw you came on Warpath this evening. But I was expecting this crazy war to occur when I really di see much at all. You seem to be a lot of talk and no action. Please prove me wrong on this one and Dominate us all !!! LOL Bring it On hehe
 
CaliGirl, you are asking for it big time. Ninja may just bring down the Ninja scythe of death.
 
I can personally vouch for Captain's healing abilites and his lack of violence towards others. I've played with and against him many times and am currently sporting a 47 kill to 6 death ratio against him. I'm sure those 6 deaths were a statistical anomaly caused by my own walrus-like grace rather than a desire to bonesaw anyone. Even if he wanted to his flacid wrists and confused meanderings are no threat to any serious competitor.

All I can say is I'd rather be the pawn that beats down Queen Fluffy than be a knight and face the wrath of Captain's wife. And yes, your mask is silly. Are you hiding something or are you afraid of catching cooties from all the girls that dominate you in Warpath?
 
Sad... so sad... it seems that too many of you have developed Stockholm Syndrome. He even has the great KaptainKangaroo confused!

Flacid wrists? Confused meanderings? No sir, he moves with a *purpose*. Captain Mental is an evil and calculating individual, the likes of which this world has never seen. We must stop him before his influence can spread beyond the Warpath!

CaliGirl... I take no pleasure in having to dominate anyone, but it is a necessary evil. I must do what must be done, for the sake of YOU, my dear! If a Domination is what it takes to help you to see the truth... then so be it!

delrio.... yeah, we're not even going to go there.

And Monkeybits... it's good to see that I am not the only one who can see through the trickery! Carry on, good sir! Spread the word on the other servers of the coming evil! We both know that the "good Captain" will not stop with just this small piece of the world. He will not be happy until he has all of us under his thumb!
 
Captain is #1 on my kills list but i still got love for you.............hahahaha
 
[quote1206649766=NinjaFluff]
He has surely abandoned his oath of "First, do no harm"!
[/quote1206649766]
Lol, you watch Scrubs don't you? I'm on Ninja's side. You guy's should have made that "Epic Fourm Battle" a video and put it on YouTube, like record it ingame.
 
The great Captain asked me, Ethel, his devoted secretary, to write in forums on his behalf, as the good captain is actually busy holding self-confidence seminars in primary schools around the province of Quebec.

His highness will be soon posting a brand new Mental Clinic, in which he will be discussing the difference between good and true evil. He also would like Ninja Fluff to:"Please refrain spreading his poison among the entire eGO community" as once did Attila the Hun to his people back in ancient times.

He specifically told me to press the matter on this issue: Never trust the word of a masked man, especially a self-proclaimed ninja wearing fluff on such a silly, silly outfit. (yuck)

He said: Julius Cesar was a great man and they named a salad in his honor. NinjaFluff is too much of a silly and confused man to even name a lousy hot-dog after. Fluffy-Dog ( Barf)

After his seminar, the Captain will jump in his private jet (because he his incredibly wealthy but doesnt like to show it... humility in all) and come to Warpath to once again defeat Ninja Fluff and his growing army of misleaded buffoons.

Yesterday, Ninja did not rise to the challenge as he cowardly hid behind heavies for the 3 minutes he was in the server. In fact he was picked apart by the bonesaw of the great Captain. Fluff flew everywhere and for a few seconds the entire team was swimming in it... it was quite disturbing for a simple secretary and i had no choice but to go and throw up in the bathroom. Lucky for all of us, the Captain was unharmed.

He then ubered Caligirl and KAptain Kangaroo and then Ninja was history. Some silly excuse on his part for leaving early was that he to do the dishes in a hurry... itwas so pathetic, we all laughed out loud and waved him bye bye.

There is no treat, there is only Fluff.

Sincerely,
Ethel
 
The first mark of an evil leader: he has a secretary take dictation of his rants and rambles.

I shall make no excuses, the captain's secretary is correct. However, even though he tells the truth, he is still evil. I am but one lone voice in a sea of confusion. I am not all-powerful, nor have I ever claimed to be. I can only do what I can, and even though I may be defeated, I will not stop. I will not cease spreading the truth about the Captain's lies and trickery, because these things must be brought to the light!

The Captain accuses me of cowardly hiding behind heavies during my short appearance on the Warpath... Friends, I submit to you: The Captain does the same! He whips his zealous followers into a vicious frenzy using falsehoods and half-truths. Once he has provoked their bloodlust, he commands them to charge the enemy line, pointlessly sacrificing their lives on the sentry guns and sticky bombs of my, no, OUR compatriots. Again, I ask you! What kind of "doctor" does this?! What kind of leader so callously throws away the lives of his soldiers? A plan this diabolical can only be hatched from the mind of a madman!

There are some that are likely to say that the road to hell is paved with good intentions, in regard to my words... Friends, let me tell you this. You control your own destiny. YOU ALONE can choose your path! Brothers! Sisters! I implore you, RISE UP and throw off these oppressive shackles that he has placed upon you! The Captain must be stopped, but I cannot do it alone. I need your help! Join me on the Warpath, so that together, we may stop this tyranny before it consumes us all!
 
Has the great "Captain" finally run out of words? Have we finally let the wind out of his sails? Now is the time to strike! To me, my brothers! We must crush him while he is weak! He will oppress us no longer!
 
[quote1206663649=NinjaFluff]
delrio.... yeah, we're not even going to go there.
[/quote1206663649]

Are you a...

*clucks like a chicken*
*does chicken dance*

CHICKEN!?
 
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