This isn?t a rant for or against Team Fortress 2 Achievement servers. It?s a recounting of the bizarre/hilarious/terrifying experience I had on one of them - yes, my personal reactions to what I encountered do inevitably slip in, but mostly it?s a portrait of this unique facet of gaming subculture. Whether you agree or disagree with their existence, these beat-the-system servers are fascinating enough to be worth talking about.
?Were you beaten as a child??
?FOR ***** SAKE DONT SHOOT THE ****** ENGI?
?Scout need 2 kill scouts someone spawn scout?
?Retards ur all retards omg retards!!!!?
Having been away from the TF2 scene for a few months until very recently, I wasn?t previously aware of Achievement Servers. I heard about their existence come the release of the Pyro update, and the idea that there were legions of TF2 players grinding away like Lineage players on special maps for impatient unlock-hungerers was so curious that I had to see it for myself. As the sampling of chat-channel quotes above might imply, I wish I hadn?t.
The server I elected to play witness on was an odd, unsettling place. The tiny, custom map placed the red and blue spawn points right next to each other, removed the wait period between respawns, dropped a single capture point in the middle and placed intelligence briefcases at either end. A small pool of water was placed awkwardly in a corner, and health packs scattered in bizarre columns. No-one could ever win this map - it was set up to repeat forever.
From the narrow strip between the start points spawned a constant stream of Pyros - a silent, infinite army. Half the time, it wasn?t possible to escape this six foot starting area, as I?d be toasted into nothingness within milliseconds. Other players screamed time and again that those attacking each other were ?retards?, oblivious or unconcerned that their unchecked use of this most stereotypical of Angry Internet Man insults made them even more detestable than those they lambasted. Perhaps these kill-crazed interlopers were simply childish troublemakers, but more likely they were chasing the 1m points of fire damage and 1000 kill Achievements
Once I finally managed to sneak to a safe-ish corner, I couldn?t help but join the fray. There?d been no explanation as to how this server worked, and the only communication between players involved the word ?retard?. So I presumed mega-death was the done thing here - certainly, that steady stream of disorientated spawnees were fish in a barrel, a Pyro?s wet dream. Stood next to a supply cupboard, with my health and ammo infinitely replenished, I spent a few minutes clocking up kill after kill after kill - forever twisting my TF2 stats. In TF2 proper I play a Heavy almost all the time, but my permanent record is now dominated by Pyro points. They?re just numbers, but they make me oddly sad - it?s as though someone?s stamped LIAR on my Steam page.
?Were you beaten as a child??
?FOR ***** SAKE DONT SHOOT THE ****** ENGI?
?Scout need 2 kill scouts someone spawn scout?
?Retards ur all retards omg retards!!!!?
Having been away from the TF2 scene for a few months until very recently, I wasn?t previously aware of Achievement Servers. I heard about their existence come the release of the Pyro update, and the idea that there were legions of TF2 players grinding away like Lineage players on special maps for impatient unlock-hungerers was so curious that I had to see it for myself. As the sampling of chat-channel quotes above might imply, I wish I hadn?t.
The server I elected to play witness on was an odd, unsettling place. The tiny, custom map placed the red and blue spawn points right next to each other, removed the wait period between respawns, dropped a single capture point in the middle and placed intelligence briefcases at either end. A small pool of water was placed awkwardly in a corner, and health packs scattered in bizarre columns. No-one could ever win this map - it was set up to repeat forever.
From the narrow strip between the start points spawned a constant stream of Pyros - a silent, infinite army. Half the time, it wasn?t possible to escape this six foot starting area, as I?d be toasted into nothingness within milliseconds. Other players screamed time and again that those attacking each other were ?retards?, oblivious or unconcerned that their unchecked use of this most stereotypical of Angry Internet Man insults made them even more detestable than those they lambasted. Perhaps these kill-crazed interlopers were simply childish troublemakers, but more likely they were chasing the 1m points of fire damage and 1000 kill Achievements
Once I finally managed to sneak to a safe-ish corner, I couldn?t help but join the fray. There?d been no explanation as to how this server worked, and the only communication between players involved the word ?retard?. So I presumed mega-death was the done thing here - certainly, that steady stream of disorientated spawnees were fish in a barrel, a Pyro?s wet dream. Stood next to a supply cupboard, with my health and ammo infinitely replenished, I spent a few minutes clocking up kill after kill after kill - forever twisting my TF2 stats. In TF2 proper I play a Heavy almost all the time, but my permanent record is now dominated by Pyro points. They?re just numbers, but they make me oddly sad - it?s as though someone?s stamped LIAR on my Steam page.
