Everyone wants to win right? I know I do, it makes me feel tingly inside. After listening to people tell US how to play and win, thinking their way is supierior, I decided to make my 10 ways to victory. If you follow these 10 rules, you will not only dominate the opposition, but you will giggle the whole time. And who doesn't like to giggle?
1. NO DIEING!!!! This is the most important rule, if no-one on your team dies, then you will win, it's common sense people!!
2. KILL BEFORE YOU GET KILLED!!!! This is similar to the first rule. If you kill them before they kill you, you will win. It's common sense people!!
3. Never throw your mouse in anger. You need your mouse to Karl Malown the other team, so keep it secret...keep it safe.
4. If a player keeps owning you. Apparently you were not following the first 2 rules of xosniper's Rules to Victory. So re-read the first 2 rules, kick your dog, and try again. (if you do not have a dog, a cat/sister/brother/friend will do)
5. Good spy play. whenever you want to humiliate someone on the other team, what better way then to play spy. The one secret move that none of the career spies talk about is to sap the engineer and backstab the sentry, it works wonders and will cause people to complain about how good a spy you are.
6. No Taunt, No Kill!!!! This is something they left out of the TF2 manual. When you are done blowing up the other guy with your OP'd 8 stickies and 4 nades, press the taunt button. It has been proven by Bembridge scholars that it relives stress and eliminates the growth of gray hair. So taunt after every kill, you will live longer IRL.
7. When in doubt, make excuses. We all know that we NEVER make mistakes that will get us or our teammates killed. So let them know what happened. "seriously guys, the sun was in my eyes" "Wow, I can't believe my mouse came unplugged right when they took our intelligence I was guarding" "My mom made me take out the trash....while i was healing the heavy guarding the CP" you get the point, it is NEVER our fault.
8. Never play in a bad mood. This is actually good advice, and I'm disappointed it made it on here.
9. NEVER LOSE!!!! This one is common sense as well, if you never lose you will always........ (if you can't figure this out, please ctrl/alt/delete yourself and go outside)
10. ENERGY DRINKS!!! You can never expect to complete all of these rules without the irregular heartbeat caused by energy drinks. Minimum of 3 16oz drinks before starting TF2. Anything less will cause this help guide to be null and void, and I'm not responsible for what happens.
So there you go all. I'm alittle nervous about releasing this classified info due to breaking the 3rd rule after playing with those who have read this.
Enjoy
xosniper
all of this info is for fun, do not expect this to make you the greatest player since jehuty (pronounced Judy) so read and laugh and maybe follow some of the rules because they might actually cause you to pee your pants laughing.
1. NO DIEING!!!! This is the most important rule, if no-one on your team dies, then you will win, it's common sense people!!
2. KILL BEFORE YOU GET KILLED!!!! This is similar to the first rule. If you kill them before they kill you, you will win. It's common sense people!!
3. Never throw your mouse in anger. You need your mouse to Karl Malown the other team, so keep it secret...keep it safe.
4. If a player keeps owning you. Apparently you were not following the first 2 rules of xosniper's Rules to Victory. So re-read the first 2 rules, kick your dog, and try again. (if you do not have a dog, a cat/sister/brother/friend will do)
5. Good spy play. whenever you want to humiliate someone on the other team, what better way then to play spy. The one secret move that none of the career spies talk about is to sap the engineer and backstab the sentry, it works wonders and will cause people to complain about how good a spy you are.
6. No Taunt, No Kill!!!! This is something they left out of the TF2 manual. When you are done blowing up the other guy with your OP'd 8 stickies and 4 nades, press the taunt button. It has been proven by Bembridge scholars that it relives stress and eliminates the growth of gray hair. So taunt after every kill, you will live longer IRL.
7. When in doubt, make excuses. We all know that we NEVER make mistakes that will get us or our teammates killed. So let them know what happened. "seriously guys, the sun was in my eyes" "Wow, I can't believe my mouse came unplugged right when they took our intelligence I was guarding" "My mom made me take out the trash....while i was healing the heavy guarding the CP" you get the point, it is NEVER our fault.
8. Never play in a bad mood. This is actually good advice, and I'm disappointed it made it on here.
9. NEVER LOSE!!!! This one is common sense as well, if you never lose you will always........ (if you can't figure this out, please ctrl/alt/delete yourself and go outside)
10. ENERGY DRINKS!!! You can never expect to complete all of these rules without the irregular heartbeat caused by energy drinks. Minimum of 3 16oz drinks before starting TF2. Anything less will cause this help guide to be null and void, and I'm not responsible for what happens.
So there you go all. I'm alittle nervous about releasing this classified info due to breaking the 3rd rule after playing with those who have read this.
Enjoy
xosniper
all of this info is for fun, do not expect this to make you the greatest player since jehuty (pronounced Judy) so read and laugh and maybe follow some of the rules because they might actually cause you to pee your pants laughing.
If someone is owning you on the other team, join spec and switch teams! Therefore, you stop dying and you stop that player from owning you. Win-win!
![.[BORN]2kill](https://gravatar.com/avatar/7a920e218ce9eb00d195ea0ee4e646bc7931729ce2287f5f613432e52e0c7c37?s=96){kind=avatar}
