CNN Today! Breaking News!

PurpleNurple loves Hoff like I love Anna Feris. Its just not as funny that I love Anna Feris. I know her address, and Ive got binoculars.
 
$40b a year! How much are my shares then :)


Let me see you are Captain Ashton...

Captain Ashes, Captain Ashley, Captain Ash...TON!! here you are

*pulls folder and reviews documents*

Ok here we go you are entitled to...uhm, $0.0000000000000001 dollars.
 
Isn't that nice? Awards coming out this week. Sweet!

Wait a minute...WHAT about my leg now? :p
 
Forgot garden's taco fails health inspection.. locals must resort to sandvich!
 
Sweetie, the Onion has a big budget

I do this for free on my spare time. !chair



:D :D :D

I'm not saying this isn't funny. Cause I lol'd. But the onion is/was/will always be top comedy. Plus I dated the sister of one of the founders. And it was founded in WI... so I have to represent for my state.

Wait...

Did you just call me sweetie?
 

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