Hijack this thread

I came to with a start. I was tied to a chair in a pitch black room. Something smelled like poo, but I figured it was probably me. I tried to wiggle out of the bindings but made too much noise and the heavy metal door swung open quickly. Two men and very small man, possibly a little person, walked in, each holding a blunt weapon of sorts. They began to question me and ask me of people I'd never heard of. I denied ever knowing any of them but they felt I wasn't telling the truth. After some hours of conversation and physical abuse, they decided to let me go after I stopped bleeding.

I was thrown from a moving car and rolled to a stop in a ditch. And on top of a discarded, but still active, taser.

I pooped my underwear.
 
xosniper said:
Stupid girls who post stupid videos of them doing stupid things on stupid youtube are stupid.
Click to expand...

/me thinks that was a dig at Boxxy... "Them's fightin words!"

speaking of fightin words, did you know the average speed of an unladen European swallow is 11 meters/sec?
 
Did you know that Chuck Norris' cool factor can be measured to 847 Gigashatners?

However, I attempted to compare The Chuck to Tiddy and my computer exploded. Something about a divide by zero on the Chuck side.
 
Speaking of Chuck Norris, and not many people know this about the man, but there are over 7,500 known varieties of apples. Boggles the mind doesn't it?
 
I divided by zero, and all I got was this lousy thread!

Speaking of lousy thread, I HAS A HOLE IN MY SHIRT! /angry
 
this thread is now about Reptar.
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Snow fell onto my body and I jumped awake with a yelp. The discarded taser was no longer near me and I got to my feet carefully. I was within city limits, so I decided to make my way back to the nearest one: Albany. After some hours of watch people drive by, a man with a pick up truck and a dog in the back offered me a lift. I thanked him and hopped into the bed with the dog. We took off and I began to wonder how I could have produced so much fecal matter in such little time when eating so little food.

Then my tummy grumbled. I remembered I had not eaten since the mugging. I looked at the dog, a chocolate lab, and it whined at me. I pet it gently. Happy with the affection, it wagged its tail and nuzzled against my hand. I said "Good doggie."

Apparently saying that was against the rules to this driver and he used a cattle prod, through the small window, on me.

I soiled myself.
 
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I sprained my knee chasing one of my dogs last night. Now, why the hell would something like that happen???

O ya, I'm in as good a shape as a professional bowler.
 
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