EjeMag Part One-Half of Two.

eje007

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As you all saw in the first two interviews, I was greeted by a torrent of rudeness. I interviewed Oldie, who is CAL's public relations officer. He says that there is no correlation between being angry and grumpy, that -V- and Dr. are just grumpy people. But as I go back and re-read the transcript of me and -V-'s interview, and maybe I was a little bitter from Dr. Death that I took it too far and gave -V- a bad color. -V- was actually very nice and answered all my questions. I took most of what was in his interview out of context to make him seem like a jerk. For that I apologize. And while I'm in the apologizing mood, I tried again with Dr. Death.

eje007: Excuseme, Dr. Death, do you have time for an interview with Ejemag?
Dr. Death: GTFO

Well some people are just jerks I guess.

Regardless, Oldie answered some of my important questions very kindly.

Oldie #ccL: They are coming. Plain and simple, we are all doomed. Dr. Death may welcome our new alien overlords, but i believe the answer lies with people who are on CAL teams. We will challenge them to a video game competition for the universe. We will win. We have to.

I'm not entirely sure if Oldie has all of his marbles or maybe he lost a few as a child. But he does make a good point, and I feel safe knowing the future of man-kind is in his hands.

Well with my "Gotta me mean to be Good" theory proved wrong, I had another important question to answer. What IS the secret to being good?

Oldie #ccL: Well, not many people know this, but i belive the secret should be let out. We practice flashbang kills for over 2 hours a day. Thats the secret. Shazam.

And finnaly, the question we've ALL been wanting to hear. Where did his name come from?


Oldie #ccL: Well, let me start of with a story of when i was young... just about 10 years ago. There was a dog named Old Yeller, and the dog was amazing. But then, he got the rabies and had to be put down. I vowed that the dog will be avenged, so I......*At this point I nodded off* named myself Old Yeller's Revenge. Yet, it did not fit wit the clan tag, and I had to shorten it down to Oldie. It does not reflect my age correctly. Just like Dr. Death isnt a real doctor.

So there you have it. My theory blown away, but still some important questions answered.
 
Wow, I come off as a real jerk. No, no, wait. He twisted my words around to make me look bad.
 
First off . Dr.Death. YOU BIG MEANIE.
Second. I remember when oldie was named old yeller :P
 
eje007: Excuseme, Dr. Death, do you have time for an interview with Ejemag?
Dr. Death: GTFO

BTW when am i getting a column...
 
BTW when am i getting a column...

Well if EjeMag gets big enough I might spread it into other divisions. You could be the head of the TF2 division. But EjeMag needs to get more well known first before I try to spread out.
 
ejemagtemplate1finished.png



Now, the last installment of EjeMag until we change format a little bit. So as to not keep me busy every night, and to not spam the forums and such. It will be a once a week thing, probably Sunday's or something with longer articles. But here's our interview of Deathscythe


Deathscythe: I am one of the leaders and well I pay for the server sooo lol
eje007 #ccL: Now, I want to give the readers a chance to get to know the Deathscythe. The REAL Deathcythe. Hypothetical question. You have a hamster in your hands. And someones offering you a milliion dollars to kill it. Do you do it?
Deathscythe: Depends does this Hamster decide to pee or crap in my hands at that moment?
eje007 #ccL: No, its a perfect hamster that basically has the intellgence of a human.
Deathscythe: kill it
eje007 #ccL: I see.


I think we can all learn something from that. Because I think we all know, that by killing the single hamster and gaining the million dollars, you could just buy a half a million hamsters and go swimming in a big pool of them.

Though it does beg the questions: Would he have responded the same if the hamster DID crap and pee in his hand? If the hamster had human intelligence, would it sense that it was going to die and as a last laugh poop and pee in his hand?

Questions that we may never know the answers to. But perhaps we can shed more light onto them.



eje007 #ccL: While we're on the same lines, what is your opinion on arming puppies with AKs?
Deathscythe: hahaha lolwut!?

Interesting. Interesting. His statement so pure, so simple so artist. We cannot possibly break it down more, or try to even describe what he means. If more people read this, perhaps more people would be motivated to help arm puppies with AKs.


eje007 #ccL: What is the Log base 4 of 10?
Deathscythe: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

Clearly the #ccL team is not very good at math. But who needs to keep track of numbers when you can press tab and have your CS:S server do it for you?

And while as you all know, we proved grumpiness has no relation to being good at CS:S but I think this Dr. Death character is an exception. The only reason anyone would be so rude is if it was giving them special abilities.


eje007 #ccL: Excuse me Dr. Death, do you have some time to answer some mathematical questions for EjeMag?
Dr. Death: Eje007 = LOSER

Ah well. See you next week. Interviews will probably be done for a little, though there will be some stories and interesting articles so stay tuned!
 
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eje007 #ccL: What is the Log base 4 of 10?
Deathscythe: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

Clearly the #ccL team is not very good at math. But who needs to keep track of numbers when you can press tab and have your CS:S server do it for you?


Sorry for being in a B average Algebra 2 class jeez I hate math...
 
log base 4 of 10 is about the same chance of eje being put on the call team/100%
 
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