Realism Campaign 4 picturebook! (recently declassified)

YoSpankDawg

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So I had intended to do this exact type of thread months ago at the end of Realism Campaign 4, but I have no idea what happened and how it never came to be.

Anyways, I was bored at work today and I figured it might help to get people excited about the next Realism Campaign coming up, so join me as we take a look back into history, at the legendary Campaign 4...



I distinctly remember the day I took over as CINC of the German forces, but that's another story all unto itself . It was time to get down to business and to put on my big boy underoos, my big boy pants, my big boy helmet, and my big boy mustache.
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I knew that the key to this whole operation was to have the best staff I could assemble. This started with a first-rate second-in-command. Unfortunately, they were all busy at the moment, so I had to settle on the esteemed Dr.Compton.
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Next, to round out the crew, I knew I'd need a natural leader and also an enforcer. I strongly believe in leading by example, so my #3 man had to be the legendary Bad Brain.
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I ran through a few ideas for the last guy, but it came down to the question of commitment. In the end we went with Death_Keeper.
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Next, the key to winning a war is in great planning. It's said that a battle is won or lost in the planning, before it is ever even fought, so we immediately got to work in planning.
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After intensive recruiting we got to see what our army was going to look like. I felt immediately blessed to have the talents of Ides of March and (IO) SA amongst my men.
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We relayed our plans and strategies to the soldiers as best we could. There were some pests who needed special attention, but we quickly whipped the men into shape.
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It was finally time to go to war. I felt we were as ready as we could be, now it was time to execute.
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WEEK 1
We had planned the attack on Finland from Poland for weeks in advance, but nothing could prepare us for what actual war had in store for us.
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We had Erich at sniper and he did a pretty good job. Here is a snapshot of him just before battle.
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Sadly, I think we can contribute our losses to my unique strategy of holding back some of our big guns in a "wait and see" attitude, while others ran out to wreak as much havoc as possible.
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Allies came back with a vicious counterattack into Poland, but we took a more cautious approach this time around. Here you can see our patented Anzio strategy, which basically included everybody sitting back and being careful while Ides of March (in the middle of the street) casually strolled into the middle of the Allied forces.
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In the end we were victorious.
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Here I am congratulating JavaBasher on his killing of ronpaul.
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WEEK 2
Happy about defending the homeland, my men were perhaps a bit too lax in the coming week.
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We were rather obviously unprepared for the Allied attack of Italy from North Africa. Teamkills were less than helpful as well. They were allegedly on accident, but some photos show otherwise.
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In the end we simply tried to resort to a defense consisting of making a lot of noise and shooting into the air to scare away the Allied forces, but it was to no avail.
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If there are two things I learned about my men in this campaign they are this:
1) We are quite the vengeful group, and
2) We love animals--especially little kittens and puppies. Yeah, that's right, you heard me. We hate Allies, but we love us some cute critters, as you'll see in the coming weeks.
Anyways, following an embarrassing defeat in Italy, we were in a vengeful mood, so our forces in Denmark set off across the water for Norway, where we laid waste to every last Allied soldier, set against the backdrop of the Benny Hill Yakity Sax song. We left no stone unturned.
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The smashed Allies were all like, "Woahhhh! Big Axis guns! I give up!"
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Indeed there was much celebrating in the cold that night.
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WEEK 3
Embarrassed by the loss of a mainland territory, our forces immediately set out to take back Italy, striking from Austria. We had ST0RMY with his famous machine gun, mounted on his infamous donkey...
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...as well as the use of some mysterious, sniper rifle-toting creature named "Spray."
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Indeed, we sent in all of the heavy forces, but it still wasn't enough firepower.
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The Allied forces seized the opportunity in our defeat to counterattack Austria. We were caught with our pants down...
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...but we pulled together quickly. Fortunately, ST0RMY had brought back his machine gun...and the donkey.
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Also, we relied on some key teamwork by our men, who worked well as a unit. In fact, as transcripts of the action would later show, some men worked a little TOO well as a unit. Here is a candid photo of an awkward look shared by Ides of March and (IO) SA as they recalled their time spent in a dark room all alone on Donner.
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WEEK 4
Allies tried to surprise us with a sneak attack on my own private submarine's base, but we saw it coming so we were well-prepared. We rigged our own main doors with explosives. Here is Spartacus showing off our firepower just before the battle took place.
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When the Allies tried to enter the base, BOOM! The doors took out a third of them.
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While they were caught in the confusion, our forces raced outside and met the remaining Allies in the woods and took them out in the moment of surprise. Here's Fluxion making fun of how they looked when we caught them off-guard.
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Furious that the Allied High Command would dare attack my personal submarine, I ordered an executive attack on their CINC, Boyle. My crack squad of special troops was sent deep into the heart of the Allied HQ to take him out.
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I had called for an air attack to join them, but it was delayed.
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By the time the air support finally came, it was far less than I had intended.
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Unsuccessful, my remaining men were forces to flee the area and scamper back home.
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WEEK 5
Still angry and bitter about my precious little subbie-poo being attacked, I went into full-force bat-crazy planning mode. I knew the Allies would strike Austria from Italy again, so I planned how to defend then and then quickly counter them in Italy. First, we made sure our men were well-fed.
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They were all in good humor and ready to defend Austria to the death.
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Our own Smilodon was a hero with his use of the rocket and broomhandle, taking out more than his fair share of Allies. Here is his, after the battle, lounging out with his heavy firepower.
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As soon as the Allied forces were repelled, we struck with an unparalleled vigor into the heart of Italy, stopping for nothing. Well, almost nothing.
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This time around I made sure we had the appropriate firepower
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We stormed Italy and took no prisoners. Ok, we took one prisoner, and made him eat funny things for our amusement.
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I was so singularly-focused on Italy that I assigned a secondary attack, France to the Netherlands, to by subordinate, Death_Keeper. Here he is, relaying his plans with the men, and explaining the optimum range for the enemy's rifles.
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In the end, however, regardless of who was or wasn't in charge, the men were just too darned motivated and stomped over the enemy. Messengers were sent all over the land with a cryptic message of how our forces had fared that day.
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WEEK 6
There is a saying that too much of a good thing is a bad thing. Following our three huge victories, there was much celebrating.
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People spent a lot of time laying around.
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Even when they were awake, the forces were just a little too comfortable for my liking
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Needless to say, Allied forces easily took back Italy with a strong push.

In an attempt to use our momentum in defeating Norway just a few weeks prior, we tried to push onward to Sweden, but there was just too...
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...many...
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...cute...
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...animals--the Nazi soldier's kryptonite. Our attack of Sweden was a complete and utter disaster.

WEEK 7
I decided it was about time to end this silly little war before the Allies picked up on "the kitten factor" and used it as a weapon. I began drawing up plans for attacking the United Kingdom herself. First, we used our secret weapon to cross the English Channel without notice.
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Actually, maybe the animals (dolphins, donkeys, etc) were the key to our forces. I know our scientists were deep into research for reincarnating dinosaurs to use as weapons (obvious Dino D-Day reference is obvious). Anyways, there were a few small roadblocks in the initial British mainland attack, but I managed to encourage my troops in my usual, calm, gentle way.
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We had done it! After taking the United Kingdom, the great Allied CINC, Boyle, conceded defeat and we had won! I promptly commandeered his pet squirrel and took him as my own.
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The men, happy about the victory and ever the goofs, took celebratory pictures following the end of the war. Here are my Sergeants.
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Somehow word of the war's end didn't get out right away, so we found ourselves defending France from the Allied forces in Italy. First, our defense looked something like this:
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But then we loaded the special blanks into Dr.Compton's machine gun called "Herding bullets" and took it to the Allies.
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Then, when the Allied forces continued their push, we tried one last-ditch effort to defend at the main bridge.
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Either way, we had still won the war, so I thanked my CO's with some of their favorite things
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There is also some work being done now on commemorative figurines of the war's heroes, so look for those in the near future.
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